Sinking - Narrative

As I was swimming, I tried as many things as I could to keep myself busy, being in the water was terribly boring for me, I suppose the water was to shallow for me to be able to dive. Mum always told me never to go to far into the ocean without the supervision of an adult. But I swear that I'm more than capable of looking after myself now that I'm 12 years old, so consequently I made the decision to swim over to the deeper side and see what a swim would be like there.

As I swam further with curiosity, my body became numb from the bitter cold water that surrounded my skin. 'Maybe if I swam more briskly around, my body would warm up.' I thought. I was wrong, it was possible that I swam too far to be able to reach the surface of the sand. I panicked. I couldn't think straight with the feeling of the current pulling me away from my destination which was back at the shore. I screamed for someone to help me, but my voice had been drowned away by the sound of waves crashing against my face, I knew that I was about to sink. Millions of thoughts raced up and down my head, it was hard to calm myself down but the feeling of water restraining me from swimming back to shore didn't make anything better at all.  

The ocean left me with an unpleasant stomach-turning taste, it was as if I was drinking a cup of heavily salted water and it was hard to prevent myself swallowing it. I was left feeling terribly uneasy, when suddenly I could hear a muffled voice echo through the air calling my name, it was a very familiar voice which came from my mum who was swimming without trouble to me with her hand out. A complete feeling of pure serendipity had filled me as I gripped my hand onto hers, still feeling unwell from the amount of water I had consumed. I knew well that I was extremely fortunate to be saved merely at the right time.

At the moment, the only emotion I could feel was relief and gratitude towards my mother who had helped me when I was in such grave danger.

Coda:

The moral or the meaning behind this narrative is about obedience and responsibility. It is first and foremost that we obey our parents, teachers and adults around us because they have our best interests at heart, meaning they are concerned about our safety which is most important. Being obedient requires and strengthens the value of responsibility. We have to take responsibility for the actions we take and to think properly about whether we are making the right choices.

WALHT: Write a narrative using the correct structure and language features including a range of sentence types and topic and sophisticated vocabulary.